ONE MINUTE MELEE SEASON VII: God Eater vs Squall Leonhart
Description 2 Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! A battle of Gunblades has begun! Veteran Squall though is about to be like the Old Dog being taught new tricks! Will he master them, or get obliterated by a giant sword that triples as a shield, AND a gun in addition? Interlude 2 FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! 1! MINUTE! MELEE!!! PRESS START! SELECT YOUR CHARACTER! (PLAYER ONE CHOOSES God Eater.) (PLAYER TWO CHOOSES Squall Leonhart.) LET'S ROCK? Alrighty! / Uh, one sec... (Alrighty! selected.) Beginning As Noire was fighting monsters alongside newcomer God Eater, they grew immensely bored of fighting, and decided to have a conversation about "Certain Things.". Little did they know is that a handsome man with a Gunblade was listening to every last bit of the words to see if one of them are asking for trouble... God Eater: So, uh... Did you have a boyfriend at one point, Noire? I did, though I'm searching for another soulmate after we broke up... Noire: Don't be a fucking idiot. Men are the scum of all existence. They are fat, deserve to be damn martyrs, and they are no longer needed to r- But before Noire could finish her lies about men and even young boys, a blade was pointed at Noire, but it looked more like a revolver than an actual sword... ???: I heard your whole conversation about sexism. Quite frankly, I appall you for your bullcrap. (Cues Trigun open (perfect)) Despite Noire's offense, she knew that man with the gunblade looked familiar. Noire: Do I know you, dick? ???: You most certainly do NOT. I remember watching an anime stating girls like attractive boys with interesting backgrounds; people like me. Noire: Highschool of the Dead?! That was probably the most clichéd ani- God Eater: It's true, actually. When Noire heard those very words, she apologized like a MADMAN. Noire: Uuuuu...~ I'M SO SORRY, MAN! I DIDN'T MEAN TO SEGREGATE GENDERS LIKE WOMEN ARE THE MASTER RACE!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!! I'LL EVEN BE YOUR SEX SLAVE IF YOU WISH!!!!! ???: I don't treat women as objects, nor do I trust you... God Eater then sparked an Idea... God Eater: Noire, let me handle him. Noire: B-But God Eater...! God Eater: Don't worry about me; I know these types. This guy goes by the name of Squall Leonhart, and has a very potent weapon, but mine... God Eater then shows off her giant "GunZweihander" God Eater: IS FAR MORE POTENT!!! Squall: Hmph; showing off a superior weapon so you can have no true skill with it. I've used this Gunblade Model for years, and my skill with it is top notch... God Eater: Really? Can it TRANSFORM!? God Eater then showed off her weapon's many modes. Squall: If you wish to fight me with true skill, now's your chance. I will not waste my time with Prepubescent girls who think they are more powerful than even women outside their boundaries... Let's just get this over with; I have something to protect too... Noire then prayed for God Eater's victory for the next 60 seconds... The Fight THIS BATTLE IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE... FIGHT! 59.9-50.7: God Eater transformed her Gunblade into a rifle, and tried to fire, but Squall split all the bullets in two. As she was confused about how the attack failed, Squall slashed God Eater already, pulling the trigger and causing an explosion on her. Squall then used Blasting Zone in an attempt to make a giant gash on God Eater. The two then clashed blades... 50.1-35.3: But God Eater lost the Wager, and she was sent sky high. As she was about to head back down to Terra firma, She was impaled, and slashed. Yet despite such damage, she didn't actually die, it was merely a flesh wound... 43.1-39.9: God Eater: Uuuu...~ You ruined my best vest... 38.4-33.8: Squall: I never liked your attire anyway... Too revealing... Do you regret fighting me now? 32.8-30.2: God Eater: Not... YET!!! 29.6-7.4: As the two clashed swords, God Eater eventually realized she was underestimating a veteran hero. She was forced to defend. But as seconds feel like minutes, The Defense was penetrated, and Squall did multiple slashes that, for some weird reason, accidently shredded God Eater's clothing for the most part. She felt humiliation, as Noire was about to reference a rather, voluptuous fighter... 12.7-9.3: Noire: WHAT THE HELL IS A MAN LIKE YOU DOING TO A POOR GIRL LIKE SHE'S FROM SENRAN KAGURA?!?! 8.7-7.1: Squall: Called it... Bitch. 6.6-0.1: Squall easily finished off God Eater with a multiple slash attack, following with another Blasting Zone move. Noire then tried to run as fast as she could, but the sexist Prick, and the humiliated Gunblade wielder were sent to space... K.O.! Although, God Eater returned from the atmosphere, and into shallow water where every beachgoer could see a rather cute gal broken forever, devoid of any bravery left. Only fear among her many peers. She tried to cover herself, but it was no use. Neptune was even amusing herself at such a notion as IF slapped her across the face. As for Squall, he was disappointed at such an empty victory. He moved on as he decided this "All Female World" is too inadequate for him... Results/Credits (Cues Final Fantasy VIII - Maybe I'm a Lion (HQ)) THIS MELEE's WINNER IS... SQUALL LEONHART! God Eater is from NEPTUNIA VII, owned by !dea factory/COMPILE HEART. Squall Leonhart is from FINAL FANTASY VIII, owned by SQUARE ENIX. TRIGUN OP (Real Name Unknown) is from TRIGUN, owned by SUNRISE. Maybe I'm a Lion is from FINAL FANTASY VIII, owned by SQUAREENIX. Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:'Battle of the Genders' themed One Minute Melees Category:JRPG Fighters Category:'Video Games' themed One Minute Melees Category:Fighters with a unique weapon Category:BMHKain Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees